Tag Archives: Life

Navigating my journey of competitive exams

Hi all!
It’s been very long, a few years, since I have posted anything here. Last I wrote anything was perhaps during the Covid times. Meanwhile, I have done my Law degree (after English Literature as my bachelors) and here I write again.

I finished my Law around 2 and a half years ago (in 2022). I’m professionally an advocate (though I still love the word lawyer over advocate). Before any of you feel awed by my profession (please don’t mind the self-obsession, the feeling is still new to me so it’s not you rather ‘I’ who is a bit awed), wait, because I’m not actively working as a lawyer right now. I would love to, but I have put it on hold for now while I am preparing for competitive exam. I cannot manage both at the same time. 🙂

I am a 27 year old, preparing for civil services exam and there are a few things I would love to share about this journey. I hope this post finds anyone going through a similar journey (in any field/exam, not necessarily the same) or anyone interested in knowing about this world. (Yes it’s whole different world and I mean it with my heart and mind.)

So let me say first things first, no matter how you begin your preparation, be it with an enthusiastic dream or in a state of confusion or in anxiety, what matters the most is how you are moving forward in the whole process of it. It’s not about the beginnings or endings, yes, it is indeed about the middle portion of ‘walking through this journey’ (and running if you’re thinking about the exams per se ). I will keep this one short because the whole journey is really a phase of life and I could never write it in just one post. But in this precision, I hope you find some resonance and some enthusiasm to keep moving along.

I did not take any 1.5 L to 2L (Rs) foundational coaching, though I have been supplementing my self studies with module revision courses (this year) which give very quick concept classes and include revision tests (for Prelims). I decided this in the very beginning that it is my “self study” habits that I need to improve upon and the standard books are something I can read on my own. So that’s about my strategy , you must have your own.

(Meanwhile also remember, I’m still preparing, I haven’t cleared the exam yet. I will be giving attempt this year. So by all means please ignore my strategy because ‘I do not intend to suggest anything here’. I am only stating my journey.) Without much further ado, let’s dive into emotional-philosophical aspect of things.

The journey is tough, there’s no doubt about that, and we all know that by now. It’s a widely accepted standard, that you need to put in roughly 8-9 hours of study a day. (I, too, still find it exceptionally hard to adhere to this standard consistently.) You try to make even 6-7 hours in a day for self-studies (more valid for students not taking any coaching), and you’ll realize the amount of time that goes by in the day unrecognized– when you fail to even achieve those 6 hours in a day. So, that, my friend, is indeed a difficult thing to do consistently, so keep appreciating yourself for all the effort you make.


That brings me right to the one thing I want to talk here today-importance of appreciating your efforts.

As we move along in this journey, we meet ourselves in the deepest corners of our hearts and minds. We see our flaws, our mistakes way clearer than we ever have. We see our those tiny little bad habits that have been ruining our time and minds for years. Then, we begin to curse ourselves and begin to be harsh on ourselves. When you have reached this point inside your mind, the tone is already set for your mind to tap into the next stage. Next thing your mind is going to do is “flow” into this state of cursing and that would be the beginning of your negative self-talk from there on.

Tell me that this hasn’t happened with you ever. It still happens to me but I also keep working myself out of it every time this happens. One thing I have realised by now (and I’m neither the first one to say this nor would be the last) is that the “mind is like a river”. It simply flows. Just like river flows wherever it finds the way on the ground, so does our mind. It flows where it finds space to flow into.

So it’s important to give the right kind of space to our minds, a space full of mindful things. A space full of nourishment and knowledge for our minds, and a space away from distractions. It’s important to not let our minds drift away, and to achieve that it’s a nice trick to manage our environments-both physical and mental- accordingly.

For ex- deciding upon the chapters and subjects to be read, a night before. Or when your mind is confused or distracted, just think “what will make you study better”, just think of the next one step and do that. That way you give your mind the right space to flow into. I know it’s far easier said that done but we’ve all got to do this.

These are all mental distractions that we’re dealing with (which are different for different people). It is only and only our duty and effort to keep such mental distractions away from our minds. I know this one is tricky. But I can also tell you that it is possible to do that because in all this time walking in this journey I have finally been able to achieve that on some level. There’s only one advice to give for this and that is “practice”.

You practice driving your mind into the work zone. You practice blocking your mind when it is wandering in distractions. In that process of directing it towards your study work, ‘or’ blocking your mind when its getting distracted (by the way, these are 2 different tricks/processes if you haven’t noticed!), you shall find the way to focusing your mind on the task right in front of you- that is studying (which is interesting, and it is so because it is your life’s work. I say this because indeed I’m trying to hint that you have to “actively” take interest in doing things, in studying better. It does not come automatically on all the days. You have to do this actively.)

So this is a glimpse into the kind of effort we put into studies which I’m sure you’re putting in too if you are still reading my writing here. Let me also say that if you’ve come this far in reading, you already have great reading skill and attention span (as compared to the general public getting distracted by online world). After putting all this effort it is neither wise nor justified to let your mind drift in that negative thinking which followed your self- assessment of flaws and mistakes (if you’ve forgotten about it already, scroll 5 paras above , right below the italicised line -“importance of appreciating your efforts”). I will definitely not tell you how harsh you should be with yourself or not (since I’m a bit harsh with myself at times too) but I will say that surely you have to balance it out.

Self-assessment is great but it should be followed by right “action” next. It should be followed by a fresher perspective, feeling more energised to study, accepting your flaws and ready to make improvements (and not merely negatively self-talking). That my friend is a very active process. It takes courage, ‘energy’ and a right mindset (and hence the value of building the right mindset approach).

Which is why you should keep nourishing your mind with a positive outlook; you should appreciate all the efforts that you are making (despite all the flaws and bad outcomes till now). Because all the mistakes are only there to be improved upon. Which is why it is not a mere journey to clear some competitive exam; it’s a journey to find your own full potential and then maintain it, and work with it.

It’s a journey to find that ‘way of your life’ where you can work at your best potential self, and feel the beauty of your inner peace and capabilities. That is my end goal in this journey. That is the only accomplishment I want to achieve the most. Because I know when that happens, I will already be fulfilled in my life and do any job in a much better way.

MUST READ TRAVELOGUE DURING QUARANTINE

The Travelogue I have been reading very recently.

We all like to travel our hearts out. Either we have travelled enough to know that, or we are yet to explore that side of ourselves. Nonetheless, there’s a traveller in each one of us. The traveller inside always craves; for new places, old places, the touching breeze, the silent roads, the thoughtful and lyrical rain, the crackling sound of leaves, the busy shopping streets, the cloudy hills, the warm-shiny beach, the boozed evening, excursions with strangers; and there is always more on everyone’s bucket list.

A lot of you must have plans before pandemic struck the globe and started taking people’s lives. Well at least I did! We come across news of the rising pandemic (in India, UK, Russia, Brazil, USA and many other nations ) everyday. We hope and pray for the hospital staff and essential services (irrespective of our blood relations with them) who have been putting their lives on line. A lot of people have been having a hard time managing with mood swings, anxieties and variety of stresses. However, this article is not about the pandemic and its impact on people.

This article is about willingness to travel or explore yourself but not being able to do so because of the crisis. It is about the mental urgency and craving to go out to places and live. It hurts us, at times, for not being able to go with our set plans or make new ones right now apart from another harsh fact that a lot of us are unable to meet our dear friends, or are away from family, or are with family and having a hard time adjusting with the dysfunctional or patriarchal familial structures. In such (hard) times, we only look for escapes from our locked-in, non-productive and monotonous lives. However, after more than 3 months of such time, we find ourselves out of options to keep ourselves active, entertained and productive.

If you love to travel (or dream to travel) and love to read (or looking forward to read), Bucket List of a Traveloholic by Sarika Pandit, published in 2014 by FingerPrint Publishers is a must read for you. It has also got a rating of 3.73 on Goodreads. I must also mention for your better judgement that this is the second travelogue but first good travelogue I am reading; the first one being The Shooting Star by Shivya Nath, published in 2018 by Penguin. Although, the book has a rating of 4.09 on Goodreads, I did not like the book for its writing style and experiences (perhaps) which compelled me to leave the book midway. I found the book to be complexed in writing style, and unnecessarily or uninterestingly detailed. In addition to that, I found the book very non-relatable because of the style of storytelling of the author. However, for your better judgement, that was the experience of a beginner with travelogue reading; though I have read a varied genre of books- including classics, thrillers, fictions, non-fictions, poetries, philosophical books, etc.- apart from travelogues. So The Shooting Star did not meet my expectation for right now, because I wanted a book which has intriguing experiences and is simple to read, and I found another wonderful and engaging book, Bucket List of a Traveloholic.

While I downloaded the book only last night, I couldn’t go to sleep without reading even a bit of it. So I started reading it early morning around 4.45 AM and I kept reading it till 7.45 AM in the morning with my breaks and morning talks with parents of course. I’ll quickly give away some insights on what made me love this book so much that I am eager to write about this even before finishing it and while I am still in the middle of reading it. (also, my apologies that this isn’t a book review but just a descriptive book suggestion.) Also that this book is successfully satisfying my craving to travel.

  1. A MYTH BREAKER:

One insight that the Bucket List of a Traveloholic gives you while reading it is that it breaks your myth of the binary concepts of reading and travelling. Often we think that a person is either capable of only reading books or just capable of only travelling. We think that a quiet, calm person might want to read only books and not be very enthusiastic about travels. In contrary to this, we think that a restless person can only wish to travel and explore the outside world, and definitely not dive into books.

Well, this book gives you an interesting insight through the thoughts and travels of the author that reading and traveling are not binary. One is capable of loving both books and travel, and perhaps also capable of being lazy about the both. The writer is very enthusiastic about travel and even being independent into choosing travel partners than to procrastinating on making travel plans.

While on the other hand, she is also very well read and enthusiastic about books. Personally, I have never felt more related into listening someone’s stories or reading about travels. So the book excites me personally very much on this particular note. There’s a quote from the book which paused me only to brood upon the myth of exclusive perceptions of the two hobbies, and think in the line of non binary perception of these, and has indeed left radical impression on me. The quote is-

"Given a choice between living inside our own heads and living in the world outside, we’d [the author and her sister]  choose the former any day of the week and twice on the weekend…. That if there is one thing that has kept the world inside our heads alive, it is the living, breathing world of books."  

Here, The author and her sister take a memorable trip together before the sister’s wedding. I had never imagined how an author or a traveller could think of the internal philosophical world of minds and a world of books when she’s on, perhaps, one of the most memorable and loveliest trip of hers. I thought maybe all that one can think of is roads, rivers, people, markets, food and more exquisitic stuff, but not living inside one’s head. (I know though this might sound stupid and overwhelming.)

2. SIMPLE BUT ENGAGING WRITING STYLE:

Her writing style is simple to read and complex enough to ponder upon. She has used very simple writing style to convey deep and profound emotions. However, it is not too simple to feel shallow and disgusted by reading it; nor it is complex enough to tire yourself reading. (It has exactly the amount of balance in simple writing and depth that I was looking for; so, found perfect for myself.) Therefore, this book made me so eager to keep reading it. Not even once I got bored or felt like dropping it in between, a quality in books worth looking for! Her writing and words are so engaging that I couldn’t stop myself before finishing almost two chapters in single read. (And I am a slow reader, simply because I like to feel and process my emotional journey with the book.) 

3. PERSONALLY FELT VERY RELATABLE:

When I started reading it, I jumped right to the chapter I wanted to read first since the chapters are not interlinked with each other and can be read separately. The entire chapter was devoted to Sarika Pandit’s trip to United Kingdom which is also a place I want to visit ardently. While I was reading her trip to UK, I was quite literally lost into my own memory-trip to Kasauli (Himachal Pradesh, India) where I lived in boarding school. I have wanted to visit Kasauli ever since I have graduated, with more of my dreams to travel which are far from fulfilling and living right now, during quarantine. If a travelogue can make you trip like that while you are bored to death at home, then it is definitely a worth read!

While the writer tells us about her visit to the United Kingdom, she tell us about all the streets and museums which take us to all the phenomenal and beloved writers like William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Jane Austen (my personal very favourite, I am a big fan) and the Bronte sisters. She goes on to giving us the account of her days of reading these writers, which is very beautiful and relatable. She is both a traveller and a diverse reader, as we come to know from her travels and experiences.

Having studied English Literature during my bachelors, I have an inexplicable bond with writers and the country United Kingdom, specifically. Her journey made me feel like I was travelling the country and the streets, watching all the graves of beloved writers myself. It also gave me the places I must visit when I visit there in distant future.

4. TRIP WITH YOUR FEMINIST SPIRIT:

While I was reading the book I also got a glimpse of a well bonded and beautiful relation between the writer and her sister. One gets a glimpse of their planning a trip together and enjoying it together. We get to feel their shared memories, and tours to the countries together. What a feminist way of spending time with your sister that a lot of us only dream of! But dreams exist only to make them come true! So while I was enjoying my reading, I could not stop thinking about my own cousin sister since we had spent both our entire teenage and our ‘coming-of-age’ adulthood together in same cities. We have shared so many fun stories, sufferings, pain, dreams and desires, and more of lively stories together. Our bond is truly cherished one. Altogether, it gave me a very beautiful, lovely and a very heartwarming experience of sisterhood as I read and wandered in my mind, making acquaintance of these sisters- ‘Radhika- Sarika‘, ‘Cassandra- Austen‘ (a lovely bond if you have seen the movie “Jane Austen” or read about her).  

Secondly, the writer talks about a very real fact about travelling, that is, if one wants to travel then one has to actively seek out people with similar interests. One has to put a lot of whines and emotional connections to the back of their minds, and have an independent persona of their own. Not every time you’ll get the privilege to go with your bestie or your constant group (which is my own understanding of her words). So you’ll have to be willing to bring aboard just a good friend with similar interests and enthusiasm. One has to be willing to take risks and trust herself to be capable of managing situations.

Thirdly, it’s a good travelogue by womyn!! You go girls!! You go boys! You go all!! For girls, definitely it is going to be very relatable and good experience getting to hear travel stories not from your dad or brothers, but a womyn writer. For the rest, wouldn’t it indeed be exciting to hear travel stories of a womyn for a change! 😀

5. ON READING ACTIVELY:

Luckily, the day I picked up this book, I was surrounded with pretty and extraordinarily- ordinary compassions of nature. I was sitting outside in my verandah (backyard) at around 5:15 in the morning as I mentioned earlier that I read it early from 4:45 am to 7:45 am. It was a very breezy and sweetly lively day. (Though it also drizzled for few minutes, as if trying to take my attention off the book.) There was certain serenity and silence with all childish noises of leaves and birds, as if there were some pixies and fairies with the breezing nature. While I was reading, I contemplated how silence can be enjoyed better when you do something creative. Sure, there are times when we just stand blank at the doors of all the breeze and childish noises, and enjoy the silence doing absolutely nothing. But that is a very short lived experience. Or, for some, that is just one way of feeling the profound emotions of silence! There are more ways like humming a song, painting, writing or reading- all- while the flowery and tinker-ly breeze kisses our faces.

Such creative ventures with nature act as both your muse and the confidante, and it’s a very rejuvenating emotion. It fills you up with even more pixies and spirits like emotions, and you wake up into being more conscious of yourself and your creative works.

Eventually, it is your own journey into reading the book, setting a convenient surrounding for reading, and living not just experiences of the writer herself, but also getting lost away in your dreams of adventures. 😀 ❤

I hope you keep experimenting with your reading styles and books, and enjoy this recommendation!

With Love. 😀


POST SCRIPT: I shall leave The Shooting Star for better and different times, and will surely review about it for this post perhaps does not do justice to this book. The post is not analytical review of these books. It simply concerns a decent insight on starting with a travelogue and which one I liked for initiation.