We all have met men who have well formed strong physique, upright posture, who are confident and outspoken, BUT many of who tend to be very dominant, patriarchal and misogynistic. Such men tend to channelize others’ narratives around their own and have a certain disregard for others’ narratives and opinions. Such personalities can be unhealthy and condescending for other people. Sounds familiar and relatable!

Perhaps, yes. However, that’s not the story.

Recently, I met a man who had such an alpha male like aura around him and was nothing like those stereotypical kinds. Not that I was prejudiced against him, but my mind got skeptical and curious because of its experiences with such men. I was there for a group discussion and so was the man. In the group discussion the man performed wonderfully and not even for once did he interfere or dominate other people or a woman specifically. But hey! That was a group discussion. Anyone would play nice when it’s about his career. Well, that’s fairly believable.

How about I tell you about the talks I and him and other people had together after the group discussions! Not even for once the man sounded arrogant or dominant towards people who seemed to know less, towards people who spoke less, or tried to mold anyone’s narratives. The entire experience left me leaving the place with unmeasurable happiness.

Physical appearances tell us a lot about people but not everything about them. Nor is anyone really restricted by the negative theories and concepts about their personalities or physical appearances. We all have a choice- to go by “natural” conceptions that We Humans have created to fit in a stable social structure, OR we could break the stereotypes and improve ourselves to create a better social structure. Every person has that choice and she (/he) must take responsibility to break such stereotypes within herself (/himself). 

So who says, “boys will be boys“, or “men are all the same“! No, they are not. They don’t have to be when, instead, they can be better.